Getting back on track

It's been a whole week since I've written here. It's probably not a coincidence that it was just about a week ago that things started going to pot. I did great up until Friday, but then I started having all sorts of "reasons" why I couldn't walk or cook or eat deliberately. We went to Harvard, so I HAD to get Little Caesar's. We had Little Caesar's sitting on the counter, so I HAD to eat it. I was worn out from work, so I HAD to read. I was reading so I HAD to eat. The one HAD TO that's legit is that I did have to devote a lot of time to making Aaron's costume and prepping for school. But did those things have to be emergencies that cancelled out everything else?

That's how I excuse myself from taking responsibility--I let things pile up until they become urgent, then I let everything else go to pot while I deal with the emergency. The reward must be in getting to do what I really want to do (go to pot) while having an "out." But then I feel crappy and guilty, so the reward isn't much of a reward. Life really is better when I have margin--space to move, options, responsibility, freedom from the tyranny of the urgent. "Just Do It" is a motto I need to hear over and over again.

So my weight dropped nicely in the first part of the week, but then at the end of the week I was back up to where I started. This is where I usually give up. After all, if I can't do it perfectly, I might as well not even try, right? NO! If I can't do it perfectly, I need some more practice so I can get better at it! Some is better than none. So I'm hanging in there with what I can do right now. I'm weighing every day, not writing down what I eat, mostly sitting down to eat, I did a walk video today, and I planned out some meals for the week.

Still no diet buddy. I might have to go out on a limb with that one and see if I can get a group of gals to do an exercise video together at church. Still hanging back on that one.

Because it's finals week, my work schedule is really light. I can't squander this extra time--gotta keep plugging away at needed tasks. Back to the sewing machine, then, to finish the last costume.