Monday, May 31, 2010

Three months gone already?

Unbelievable. Once track started I didn't make time to come here and post, obviously. Now there are 4 days left till school gets out and I can begin to think about something besides lesson plans and schedules and teaching. At some point I'm going to have to figure out how to balance work and being healthy. Right now it's not working so well. I can only seem to focus on one thing at a time, and it hasn't been healthy habits for a couple of months now. Exercise was the first to go since my plan to run some during track practice didn't ever happen. Then my eating went kerflooey, too.

Looking in the mirror, I see someone who definitely views healthy living as an "on or off", "all or nothing" event, not a set of everyday behaviors that I will maintain for the rest of my life. This summer I'm torn between going all-out to get as intense and fit as possible and then worry about lifestyle maintenance in the fall and using this summer to find what will work for the long haul. The long-haul view seems smarter, but at the same time I'm never going to have the freedom to go all-out like this when summer vacation is over.

For now, exercise is what I'm working on. Gotta get back at it. Today I walked for an hour at Lippold Park--about 5 miles, I think, one of which I jogged. There's a cool trail there. My hips are feeling it now, though. Some of that might be because of the gardening I did when I got home, but I really do need to make sure I stretch well.

I'm hungry now and am going to go in search of a snack. Probably chips. I know I shouldn't but I'm going to anyway. It's not all-or-nothing, though. I can have some without having too many. Right? Right!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I'm b-a-a-ack

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I updated here. Life got crazy with weekend basketball tournaments and all kinds of things going on. But I haven't fallen off the wagon. In fact, in spite of some ups and downs, I'm doing great. It helps that a friend convinced me to give up white sugar, white flour, white pasta, white rice, and potatoes for Lent. That'll force a person into healthy eating habits pretty quick! I've also been reading a lot about low carb eating because I discovered that I don't feel so great when I'm eating a lot of carbs, even if the carbs are healthy ones. I just wish all the nutrition "experts" would agree so I wouldn't have to worry about whom to trust.

The one area where I'm not on track is with exercise. It's been really, really hard to make time for it, but I have begun doing some core work. It's easier to fit that in than a major cardio workout.

Last time I reported here, I weighed in at about 161, I think. This morning I saw a number on the scale that I haven't seen for more years than I can remember. During the past four or five years of learning healthier habits and losing that initial 20 pounds or so, the lowest I have ever been is 156. Today I weighed 155.2. I didn't think I could do it. I thought I was stuck and destined to bounce around the upper 150's forever. I have no doubts that I will still be back bouncing around the upper 150's in the coming days--the 155 is likely just the lower edge of a current dip that will rise again in the normal cycle of daily fluctuations--but now I know my dips can get lower than they ever have before, and I'm confident that someday the 155 will be the UPPER edge of my dips. Yippee!!!

Monday, February 15, 2010

A Bad Weekend

No way to get around it: my weekend was full of unhealthy choices. No exercise, lots of eating. :-( Time to get back up on the wagon today.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Do good to feel good.

My Friday weigh-in was 161, which is a loss of 3 pounds from the previous week, and one pound away from my February goal. The weekend is upon me, and it's not just any weekend, but Valentine's Day. My dear husband, who loves me and knows I love peanut m&m's, gave me a bag of them. He didn't make me abuse them, though. I COULD have limited myself to one serving yesterday and one serving today, and that would have fit in fine with my calorie goals, but that's not what I did. After a pretty darned good day of sticking to my calorie goals yesterday, even including a meal out, I came home and scarfed down half a bag. And the bag is currently almost empty. :-(

My reasoning is so stupid: If it eat them all now, they'll be gone, and then I won't be tempted by them anymore. Maybe there is some sense there. Maybe I so dislike the stress of the temptation that I'll take the quickest route to eliminating it. Never mind that giving the m&m's to my kids would do the same thing. My options, in my own mind, seem limited to eating it or not eating it, sitting in the disequilibrium of temptation or restoring equilibrium by giving in to temptation. The outcome--getting rid of temptation by eating it out of existence--proves that I still believe eating is better than not eating. Somewhere I still believe that deprivation is worse than filling myself with crap, even knowing intellectually as I do that the crap is harmful. I need to settle it in my mind: overeating is NOT a good thing PERIOD. I will feel bad when I'm done. Doing something good is what makes me feel good. So I'm going to go do something good right now and get off this machine.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Stepping up the Planning

At my weigh-in yesterday I was still at 164 pounds. I told myself to not be discouraged about it but to keep on doing what I know I need to do, but in the evening I caved and ate a bunch of chips and a root beer float. Not my best eating day ever. Today was much better. I kept my calories low--1400 calories--and I just really wasn't all that hungry. I think it made a big difference that I consciously chose fruits and vegetables rather than grains or salty snacks. I will try to keep that up throughout the coming week.

I also know that if there is yucky food in the house, I will seek it out, but if good food is readily available, I will eat that. So tonight I made four different crustless quiches chock full of veggies. Those will be my breakfasts this week. My lunches are usually fine--a sandwich or soup with salad and a fruit. It's the after-school snacks and evening munchies that get me, so I will plan those out. I'm also trying to get better about using the food I have in the house instead of letting healthy stuff go to waste because I don't get around to eating it soon enough. Planning should help with that. For some reason, planning stresses me. I agonize over it too much, as if the Planning Police will come and get me if I don't have a perfect plan. I gotta remember that a perfect plan is not the point--a helpful one is, one that will give me some direction and limits and accountability. But planning takes time, so I need to get off here and get to it!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Not feeling very creative here--it must be February

February is my least-favorite month of the year. It seems so dark and gloomy and long with nothing to do but work. Even though it's the shortest month, it feels like one long slog. Usually when I feel draggy I use it as an excuse to give up and take the easy road. In some things that's okay. I don't feel at all guilty that my History class watched Ken Burns today and my theology class played Bible Pictionary because I didn't use my evening last night for elaborate lesson plans.

But health is not something that sails along smoothly with little to no effort. If I don't do the work, I won't reap the rewards. Even if I don't feel like exercising, I still need to do it. And I am. Monday and Tuesday were both very busy days, but I made time for exercise. On Monday it was the treadmill late in the evening, on Tuesday it was an hour-long walk outside after school and before the basketball game, and today it was 3 quick miles in 36 minutes on the treadmill before school. The point is--when I make the time, I have the time, and if I'm tired and gloomy beforehand, I WILL feel better afterwards.

My eating has also been okay. I was lax on the weekend and am trying to make up for it now. Weigh-in is Friday, and I can't expect to get down to 160 this month if I don't lose a pound each week. To lose a pound each week, I have to eat less than I want to, which means saying, "No" sometimes and careful with my "Yes-es." I can do this!

Monday, February 1, 2010

January Round-up

I started January at 169 pounds. I ended it at 164 pounds. That satisfies me. It's progress! I'm not in any big rush, nor am I viewing a certain number on the scale as "success". Success means that I'm living a healthy life and taking care of my body as I should. Even if I weighed 150 pounds today, that still wouldn't mean success if I was eating crap all the time or starving myself or sitting like a lump on the couch.